What’s up my crazyredder fans? I know I haven’t posted anything on my crazyredders website for a year now, and i’m truly sorry. I got really sick and had to see a lot of doctors. but I’m happy to say that I’m feeling much better now. And i’m on my way to good health again. Thank you to all of you for your patience and understanding. I can finally get back to what I love doing. Tomorrow I will be posting my new blog post on my crazyredders website at http://www.crazyredders.com . You won’t want to miss this one. It’s called pooping by candlelight. So come subscribe and happy reading 🙂 Thank you for the support.
I wanted to do so much more with my blog, so I decided to switch everything over to wordpress.org and got my own website for my blog. The website is http://www.crazyredders.com. I hope you all will come over and check it out and subscribe to my blog so you can continue to follow me and receive updates of all my new posts 🙂 if it wasn’t for my followers, I wouldn’t have anyone to share my content with. Thank you for following me and for all the support. hope to see you all on the other side 🙂
I can’t remember exactly how we got on this subject, but my husband last night was talking about how he wasn’t in his prime anymore. Which was a known fact already, but anyways. Then he started to tell me how he use to be when he was younger. I knew this was going to be interesting. He stood up out of his lazy boy chair and said, woman you have no idea, I use to be a f$%#ing beast back in the day. I managed to hold my laugh in, but it was hard lol. I looked at him and said, you’re definitely not a beast anymore, You’re a f$%#ing donkey, but I still love you. He gave me this serious but trying to hold his laugh in type of look. He then said, oh someone wants to be a smatass. Well It’s what I do best honey. Then I said I’m just kidding honey, I know you were a beast back in the day. Then I gave him a hug and kiss, and told him I loved him. Sometimes you just got to step back and let them have their moment. My grandfather once told me that you shouldn’t hurt a mans pride. I definitely didn’t want to hurt my husbands pride, besides I think it’s sexy when he tries to act hard. Love him so much 🙂
This story is about a miniature Eskimo Spitz dog named kitty. That’s right the dogs name was kitty lol. She was my grandmothers dog. My gram chose the name kitty because she always wanted a cat too, and she knew she couldn’t get another animal other than this dog, so she named it kitty. This story takes place about 8 years ago.
Picture it, Oakdale 2006. It was a beautiful summer day, not a cloud in sight. It was a perfect day to go out for a drive, so that’s what I did. I decided to take kitty with me. I loaded kitty into my 1993 Oldsmobile Cutless Ciera named Eleanor . I sat her on the passenger side seat, then I shut the door. Once I was in the car, I buckled up and pressed play on my cd player and put my headphones on. Now I know this is a big no no, but my radio didn’t work in the car, and I just had to have music. The car also didn’t have a horn, which was probably not a good thing either lol. After picking track number 6, Here I go again by Whitesnake on my cd player, I put the car in gear and heading down the road. The speed limit was 35 mph, but I was going 45. I guess I have never been good at following the rules. As I continued driving down this long road, putting the pedal to the metal, I decided to put both the driver and the passenger side windows all the way down. I wanted to feel the wind on my face, my long hair blowing in the breeze, you get my drift. I would soon find out that this was also a big no no too when you have a dog riding in your car. I looked over at kitty and she was just sitting on the passenger side seat, she wasn’t up on the window at all. I continued to Cruz down the road jamming to white snake. Thank goodness for peripheral vision, because out of the corner of my eye I seen this white puff ball fly out the window. I pulled over real quick and slammed on the brakes. I was panicking. I was so shook up that the only thing I could pull myself to do, was open the car door and just sit there calling, here kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty. Within a few seconds of calling her, she jumped back into the car on my lap. I kept hugging her. I was so thankful she was okay. She didn’t have a single scratch on her. Thank goodness I wasn’t on a highway, because things might of been allot worse. I can only imagine what the drivers behind me must of been thinking. They must of thought it was a big snowball. They were probably really confused since it was august, the hottest month of the year and this big white fluffy snowball looking thing was flying in the air. I just don’t understand it, she was just sitting on the seat. She wasn’t even up on the window. It was the like the wind just sucked her right out the window. Poor baby. For a small moment in time I guess you can say she was Gone With The Wind.
Lets talk about sex and baby making. I personally like to call it Operation Poke and Hope, (he pokes and she hopes). Baby making (OPH) sucks the life and fun right out couples. I’m here to tell you that you can change this. Baby making can be fun, hot, sexy, steamy, and spontaneous, and lets not forget naughty, that one should never be left out.
Woman don’t need to climax in order to conceive, but that doesn’t mean that they shouldn’t. Hey why let him have all the fun. During the OPH process, woman tend to not care about having an orgasm. Woman are more worried about getting their mans deposit instead of enjoying the moment and having great sex. Be patient ladies, the bank isn’t closing anytime soon, remember you run that shit. Your the CEO of the company, so enjoy yourself, there will be plenty of time for his big deposit. I know the biological clock is ticking and you need to get cracking (Marisa Tomei said it best in the movie My Cousin Vinny), but try and focus on having more fun and bringing foreplay back into the bedroom, make your man work for it. Just because your trying to conceive, doesn’t mean sex should be something quick just so you can get to the end result faster. You deserve to have fun too. I have seen this many of times before, as soon as couples stop thinking about the OPH and just focus on relaxing and having fun, that’s when pregnancy occurs. Don’t let the OPH process consume you, because it will happen, and it will put allot of stress on your relationship and sex life, and you don’t want that to happen. Try not to stress now, because you will be stressed enough once the kids start popping out.
Don’t just have sex in the bedroom either, work your way through the house or even outside the house. Have sex in the kitchen, in the pool (weather permitting), on top of the washing machine, in the pickup truck, or if your really feeling adventurous have him lean you over his 2 stroke (dirt bike) if he has one. That’s always a fun ride. If you want to have some more fun, mix it up a little bit and bring in the whips and chains and handcuffs. Hell if you really want to , get a custom made paddle with your favorite design on it. You can even do some role playing, whatever floats your boat. It’s always fun to inflict some pain too. Pain can be a good and pleasurable thing. Hey sometimes love hurts.
So just relax and go out there and have some mind blowing sex. Come on people lets make baby making fun 🙂
I am a big fan of the penis. How could you not like this awesome sexual organ. I mean it could do all sorts of tricks and stuff and There is even a festival every year in japan devoted to the penis and fertility. There is also a penis museum in Iceland. There is penis envy all over the world. I know that in New Orleans during mardi gras a woman gets beads for showing her boobs, well I think men should be able to show their penises for a prize. Hell I would definitely make it rain for the penises. Penises also have a ton of awesome names like, baloney pony, chopper, cum gun, joy stick, pork sword, wang, and one of my personal favorites the yogurt gun. This is only some though, there are many more great names for this love stick. Did you know that the worlds largest penis is 13.5 inches long. That is simply amazing. There are 2 different kinds of penises.
1- A grower- which expands and lengthens when erect
2- A shower- which looks big most of the time, but doesn’t get much bigger after an erection
Approximately 79% of men have growers, and 21% have showers.
Some important things you should know about the penis:
-Smoking can shorten the penis
-only 1 in 400 men is flexible enough to give himself oral sex
-Corpses can get erections too
-All penises start off as a clitoris
-They can break, so please handle with care
-And lastly the penis shrinks if unused, that’s right without regular erections, penile tissue can become less elastic and shrink making the penis 1-2 centimeters shorter according to the dick docs at webMD. So get naked as often as possible and have fun 🙂
So come on everyone, lets show some penis envy and raise them up high. Can I get a Hell ya 🙂
Yes that’s right, you heard me correctly, women get the blue balls too, but it’s called the pink balls. If a man doesn’t have an orgasm, many of them complain that they have an unbearable feeling below the waist, known as the blue balls. Woman can experience the same thing. It can be physically irritating and emotionally frustrating. It’s a type of vasocongestion, meaning swelling of the tissues due to increase blood flow. So many men complain about the blue balls. Well guess what gentlemen , you do it to us too. I guess men thought that if they came up with a name for their condition, that maybe just maybe we would feel obligated to help them with this problem. Yeah They must of been thinking with wrong head. Woman deserve to orgasm just as often as men. Don’t worry this problem will never cause any harm to your privates, which is a good thing, because we don’t want nothing to happen to our special areas. It may be tough to fall asleep with your mind on sex, but the feeling quickly subsides as soon as the blood flow to the area decreases. If your having problems with the pink balls, and if he doesn’t want to step up to the plate then you might have to take matters into your own hands, if you know what I mean! My opinion is, if you tease it, you had better please it, because if you don’t your going to get kicked in the nuts so hard dust is gonna fly. But that’s just my opinion. It kinda works both ways though. Ladies if you have a good man that doesn’t cause you to get the pink balls then make sure you show some love so he doesn’t get the blue balls. Come on everyone, show some ball love and and stop leaving your significant other hanging. Lets eliminate this horrible condition one sex act at a time.